COLUMN: Ask the Money Lady – Two kinds of people

Dear Money Lady Readers,

There are two kinds of people in business today and in your personal life too. There are: “your people” and “not your people.” Your people are the ones that like you immediately, they’re interested in you and ask questions, they want to help you grow your business, they give you referrals and are pleased to work with you. “Not your people” are the complete opposite. These are clients, associates, friends and family that put roadblocks in your way, criticize your efforts, and are never happy. These people don’t want to pay for your services, and it is always painful working with them.

Creating true inner power comes when you focus on yourself – not on others, because let’s face it, we all know we will never be able to control other people. If you believe you are worth more and that you can bring more value to your work, to your family, and the world around you, then it is up to you to demonstrate that to your customers, your employer and everyone you meet. And to do that successfully, you should surround yourself with other like-minded people – “your people.”

Many Canadians secretly live in their bubble, hoping someone will come along and rescue them, fix all their problems, pay their bills, create a social life for them, and heal all their deep, dark personal problems. Well, that isn’t happening – no one’s coming. And, if you’re like most, spending lots of time blaming other people for how you’re feeling or waiting for someone to give you permission to be included, well that’s a total waste of time too.

The key to true life peace, happiness and your ultimate success, is to stop trying to control the things that are out of your control – that includes your reactions and interactions with other people. You must find “your people” and perhaps, not discard the other “not your people,” but rather limit your time with them. You see, even if you can’t get that dream job you believe you deserve or perhaps keep a friend or romantic partner that seems to not want you anymore – not until you stop trying to control other people and start controlling yourself, will you truly be successful with every aspect in your life. Choosing peace in life is not weakness – it’s power. Your true inner power lies in your response to what is happening around you. I know you want to control the narrative and micromanage the situation; but if you try to do that, you’re going to set yourself up for disaster.

Today, try to change your own destiny. Create your own success by surrounding yourself with those people that support you, people that like you, and people that see your potential and can help you achieve more. Build a team of “professional-your-people” that can help you improve your financial life, get you out of debt and help build the life you deserve. Then build a team of “personal your people.” We all deserve good social relationships with like-minded friends, sharing common interests, enjoying leisure time together and engaging in hobbies, sports and milestones with people you enjoy and value.

Christine Ibbotson is a Canadian finance writer, radio host & YouTuber. For more advice check out her YouTube channel: ASK THE MONEY LADY – Your Canadian Finance Coach.