AS I SEE IT COLUMN: The unspeakable grief of the Gaudreau brothers’ deaths

Hey there, time traveller!
This article was published 14/09/2024 (247 days ago), so information in it may no longer be current.

According to population statistics approximately 150,000 people day every day on earth. (That number is 8,152 a day in the U.S. and 779 a day here in Canada.)

While every single death is sad, there is something about the death of a celebrity that results in more grief and sadness.

And when that celebrity death happens when the celebrity and his brother were killed while cycling the day before their sister’s wedding, the grief becomes even more palpable.

Such is the case of Johnny Gaudreau and his brother Matthew, who were killed by a driver the day before they were to stand up for their sister in the biggest day of her life – her wedding.

“Johnny Hockey” as he was affectionately known, leaves behind legions of fans in Boston, where he played for Boston College, in Calgary, where he played for nine seasons, and in Columbus, where he was a member of the Blue Jackets.

And it wasn’t just hockey towns mourning their loss. The tragic nature of their death shook the entire North American sporting world.

He played the game with skill and grace and a smile on his face. Not anywhere near the biggest guy on the ice, he had a penchant for highlight-reel goals, and he was fun to watch.

Why do celebrity deaths like Gaudreau’s hit us so hard?

The best explanation I could find is something called “the realization of impermanence,” the idea that nothing in this world – events, things, emotions or people – is permanent.

When a celebrity passes away, it reminds us of our own mortality. If millionaire celebrity athletes can die suddenly, so can we. That realization is a shock to our system. Most of us don’t spend a lot of time thinking about death because it’s not a pleasant topic. So when a celebrity death like Johnny Gaudreau happens, it pushes our own mortality front and centre into our minds. The passing of the Gaudreau brothers is a grim and all to vivid reminder that our fragile, finite life could be gone at any moment.

Johnny and his brother Matthew were laid to rest earlier this week in Pennsylvania. The hockey world – indeed the sporting world – mourns their senseless loss.

Adding more tragedy to this heart-breaking story, Gaudreau’s wife revealed at her husband’s funeral that she is pregnant with their third child.

“By the overwhelming presence and overwhelming number of people here today, they’re sending a message to you loud and clear that John and Matthew’s lives mattered, that they were noticed on this earth, they were loved on this earth and they were valued on this earth,” the minister from Boston College said during the eulogy. “This robust crowd wants you to know that they’re here to tell you, all of you, that they love you, too, and they have your back and they’re here to support you in our loss.”

Given that the driver of the vehicle that killed Johnny and his brother was under the influence of alcohol, Johnny’s wife had these poignant words at the funeral.

“I urge everyone to never drink and drive,” said Madeline Gaudreau said. “Call a ride. Please do not put another family through this torture. The loss of Matty and John will leave a hole in the family, with his close friends, the community for eternity.”

If you would like to support Mothers Against Drunk Drivers (MADD), you can call them 1-800-665-6233 (ext. 336 for Winnipeg chapter) or email them at madd.wpg.mb@gmail.com.