Walk to remember they are not alone

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This article was published 23/10/2023 (637 days ago), so information in it may no longer be current.

Angel mothers and fathers gathered at the Heritage Cemetery angel monument before the first Walk to Remember in memory of the babies held in their hearts instead of their arms.

About 50 people took part on Oct. 15, which is Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness Day. Having so many gather was a reminder why the Angel Baby group that organized the walk was created by Candace Loewen.

She started the support group six years ago after sharing a public social media post about her loss on what would have been her baby Flynn’s fifth birthday. Part of her struggle was how alone she felt in her grief.

“That post got shared and shared and shared, and I got messages from women all over North America,” Loewen tearfully told the crowd gathered for the walk.

She did not want to see so many suffering alone, so she started Angel Baby in Steinbach. It now has stories on its website from parents who suffered miscarriages or infant loss posting about their own angels from all over the continent.

Crystal Kroeker shared with the crowd how she found Angel Baby and what it has meant for her after the loss of her son Zachary.

“I held my baby boy for three hours until he passed away,” said Kroeker.

“I remember feeling so alone in the weeks following his birth and death. No one spoke of things like this happening, or how to grieve through this kind of loss,” she added.

Navigating through the grief as she tried to move onto the rest of her life was hard. Kroeker had the joy of a healthy child, a girl.

“While this helped my heart and gave me focus for my attention, I still grieved the loss of Zachary and continued to grieve alone,” said Kroeker.

It was in 2017 that she discovered the new group online.

“I was almost 12 years post-loss, and I wasn’t sure what I was going to experience but I had such a strong desire to attend.

“Walking into group that day began a healing journey I could only have imagined. I was with other fellow loss moms who I could be open with, and who understood my heart. Each of us had our own experiences, but the grief of losing a child was common ground.

“I soon realized that up until that point, I had pushed most of my grief away since there was no one around me who seemed to understand. Group allowed me to begin healing that hurt that losing my baby had created in me. I stopped feeling scared or awkward talking about my loss, and even began celebrating Zachary as my son,” said Kroeker.

“This past May, I threw a party for Zachary’s 18th birthday. And this brought so much joy to me, which is I know now because I was able to heal much of that hurt inside of me.

“What started as something I was just going to try out by attending the support group has turned into a deep passion to be a part of being there for others in the various stages of pregnancy and infant loss.”

Kroeker now helps co-lead the Angel Baby group with Loewen.

“I hope today’s walk brings you all peace and remembrance,” concluded Kroeker.

Pregnancy and infant loss peer support group meets at 7 p.m. the first Tuesday of every month in Steinbach and the first Thursday of every month via Zoom. Anyone who wants to feel less alone can contact Angel Baby through their website at angelbaby.ca.