COLUMN: Grey Matters – The love around us

“Rejoice with those who rejoice; mourn with those who mourn.” Romans 12:15

Welcome to a two-part series with two powerful stories. Last week we looked at how there is more pain around us and we should be ready to ‘mourn with those who mourn.’ This week we look at how there is more love for us to rejoice in than we realize. Such knowledge should soften our hearts and attitudes as we go about our day. I received the following story from fellow chaplain Gary Blaine in his book I am Here for You:

“The story is told of the little girl who was busy wrapping a large box, about the size of a liquor box. The eight year old was using gold wrapping paper. She was almost finished when her father came home from work. He looked at her project and exclaimed, “What are you doing? Don’t you realize how expensive gold wrapping paper is? How can you be so wasteful?” He stormed off to his study.

The next morning at breakfast the father was drinking his coffee and reading the newspaper. He was a little embarrassed about his profusion of anger the night before when his daughter approached him. She presented him with the box wrapped in gold paper. “Here, Daddy, this is a gift for you.”

The father took the gift and said, “Why thank you sweetheart.” Opening the box he could not see anything inside of it. Again he exploded with anger. “What is the meaning of this?” he demanded. “You don’t wrap up a box and give it as a present to someone with nothing in it.”

Tears started running down the little girl’s face. “But Daddy,” she cried, “it’s a box full of kisses. I spent all day yesterday blowing kisses into that box for you.” You can imagine the man’s shame. He apologized profusely and hugged his daughter.

It is said that years later the child was killed in an automobile accident. The father kept the gold box beside his bed for the rest of his life. Every once in a while he would open it and take out a kiss.”

What is hard for me to see in this story is how the father could not see his daughter’s love and joy. His mind was preoccupied with little things instead. Life is constantly presenting us with gifts to rejoice in, many of which we do not see. We move through each day interpreting the little things we see around us, building quick judgments from inadequate understanding.

There is more love and care around us to rejoice in than we realize. It is in the highway guardrails that someone joyfully put in place to keep you safe, in the yellow sand barrels, it is in the outside porch light that is left on for those walking by in the night. Like Michael Franti sings: “there are billions of people doing billions of little things to make billions of places better each day.” Now that is something to rejoice in!

When we pause long enough to imagine the care and love of others, agitation gives way to peace and joy, and in small sacred ways we begin to fulfill God’s call to ‘rejoice with those who rejoice’.

Gary Dyck is a chaplain and spiritual care provider at a hospital and personal care home in the Southeast.