Keeping a hole-in-one memory alive

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This article was published 01/06/2021 (1467 days ago), so information in it may no longer be current.

Hitting a hole-in-one is a memory that sticks with most golfers forever. It’s the goal of every golfer, one that is attained by a relative few.

In fact, the U.S. National Hole in One Registry gives the odds of a golfer achieving that nearly sacred moment as 12,500 to 1. A low handicapped golfer’s odds improve to 5,000 to 1, and even a professional tour player still faces odds of 3,000 to 1.

Herb Wiebe is an avid golfer, and nobody was more surprised than him when he shot a hole-in-one on the second hole of the Girouxsalem Golf and Country Club on May 13.

But it’s a shot he simply won’t remember for long.

Wiebe was officially diagnosed with Alzheimer’s disease in September, 2019 after years of cognitive decline.

He was introduced to readers of The Carillon in a Jan. 28, 2021 article, when his wife Linda shared their story. “You’re losing your best friend,” she said at that time. “You’re losing them little by little.”

To provide the best possible quality of life, Linda selected caregivers who share Herb’s interests.

And that’s where the golf course becomes important.

A long-time golfer, his weeks include outings to the links with caregivers Harry Wiebe (his brother) and Mackenzie Wiebe.

It was while golfing with both caregivers that he secured every golfers dream, for the second time. Herb had shot a hole-in-one close to 20 years ago.

Harry, said his big brother Herb who is two years older has always been his lifelong best friend as well.

But that day hadn’t gotten off to the best start. The trio had already played nine holes to start the day. “The first round was not going well for him,” Harry said, describing Herb as feeling frustrated.

The bottom nine showed promise with Herb notching a birdie on the first hole. The second hole, described by Harry as Herb’s nemesis requires accuracy.

Surrounded by water, the par-3, is unforgiving.

But this time everything went right.

Harry said Herb used a six or seven-iron to fire his shot at the flag which was near the front of the green. The trio weren’t sure where the ball ended up, only seeing it in the hole when they drove up.

He said the excitement of the caregivers was even more than Herb.

“I think we had to instill it in his brain, that you know what Herb, you did just shoot a hole-in-one,” Harry said. “I don’t think he was as elated as we were.”

But Herb was still extremely excited, and Harry sad his immediate reaction was to look skyward. “He just looked up to heaven and said ‘thank you Lord’,” Harry said. “All that stuff that happened before was gone.”

He then posed for photos, laying down on the green next to the hole for a photo.

“That was his pose. That’s what he chose,” Harry said. “It’s his personality.”

Harry can’t help but see a metaphor in the events that happened that day. “I kind of related that to our lives,” he said. “We have one good experience and it kind of wipes out a lot of the crap that we’ve gone through and we can focus on that one good thing.”

“It was awesome to see,” he added.

Maintaining that moment is a challenge.

“At the end of the game he had to be reminded that he had hit a hole-in-one and then he did remember,” he said. “With affirmations and reminders he knows he got a hole-on-one. How well he remembers that is another thing.”

Linda said Harry had Herb call her from the golf course to share the news.

“I was so happy he had both Harry and Mac with him to witness this incredible moment,” she said.

Later that evening he talked to friends and family, and Linda said details that he got the hole-in-one were accurate although it was a struggle to remember other details.

“The excitement was a lot for him to take in,” she said. “The three of us bring it up to talk about, and help keep the memory alive.”

As the grip of Alzheimer’s tightens, Herb and his caregivers face more challenges. Harry said he can become fixated on a single issue, asking every few minutes if a tee time had been reserved. But when the golf ball is on the first tee, a little more of the real Herb is suddenly visible.

“That is my brother at his best, without a doubt,” he said. “That’s his happy place.”

Joining Herb in his happy place instead of dwelling on what once was after a lifelong friendship and family connection can be tough.

“The challenging part for me is to remain in the moment,” he said, adding he enjoys the ability to spend time with his brother. “There will be moments when I get emotional but I try to put that aside. There will be time for that later.”

It’s important to remember that Herb is still very much there, even though Alzheimer’s has already robbed him of so much.

“The big challenge is patience and understanding because he cannot control the things that are happening to him,” he said.

And while the hole-in-one has faded from Herb’s memory, it’s something that Harry will never forget, both for the day itself and inspiration it offers.

“It’s a good reminder that things can be going horrible, but to focus on the good stuff,” he said. “That’s all we can do.”

“With all your complaining about how bad your last few shots were, your next shot could be a hole in one,” he added.