COLUMN: Let’s Talk Mental Health – Managing stress during the holidays

Let’s talk about managing stress during the holidays. The season can involve parties, shopping, baking, cleaning, and entertaining. We know stress can contribute to physical, mental and emotional health problems, so let’s take control of holiday stress before it takes control of our health.

There are several ways to manage holiday stress. First we identify causes of our stress. Perhaps a certain situation, a particular person, or that list of tasks? Then we consider how we cope with stress personally. Do we get headaches, become moody with, or need alcohol to get through the day?

We can change unhealthy techniques one at a time, resolving to be patient with ourselves if progress is slow. Change takes time. We can resolve to care well for ourselves during stressful times by eating healthy, exercising regularly, and getting enough sleep.

It’s also good to ask for support when needed. Talking to loved ones during hard times will help decrease our stress. If that’s not enough, we shouldn’t hesitate to seek professional help to learn about healthier coping. Often people benefit from expert help when learning to handle stress more effectively. We may even enjoy the holidays more than we thought possible.

To ease financial stress, we decide what we can afford before we shop for food and gifts. We can’t buy love or happiness with lavish gifts. We may like donating to a charity in someone’s name, giving thoughtful homemade gifts, or starting a family gift exchange draw. If we plan ahead, preparing menus and shopping lists, we’ll prevent having to scramble at the last minute. We can also set aside time to bake, shop, and visit friends, thereby enjoying all our activities more.

Learning to say no will prevent feeling resentful and overwhelmed. Friends and colleagues will understand if we can’t participate in every project or activity. If it’s impossible to say no when the boss asks us for overtime, we may remove something else from our agenda to compensate for lost time. We may also need to say no to ourselves occasionally, as we take care not to abandon healthy habits. Overindulgence of food or drink only increases our stress and guilt. A healthy snack before holiday parties so that we don’t overfill on sweets or drinks might be a sensible precaution.

Wisely, we’ll make time for ourselves. Just fifteen minutes alone, without distractions, may refresh us to handle everything. A star-gazing walk at night, listening to relaxing music, or writing in a journal can reduce stress by clearing our minds, slowing our breathing, and restoring inner calm.

People often ask

Q. What can I do if stress or depression arise despite my best efforts?

A. Always acknowledge your feelings. If you have lost someone to death or you can’t be with loved ones, realize that sadness and grief are normal. It’s okay to cry or express your feelings. You can’t force happy feelings. Crying also releases cortisol, a human stress hormone; we actually shed it in our tears.

If you’re feeling lonely or isolated, seek out community, religious, or other social events to find support and companionship. Volunteering to help others is also a good way to lift your spirits and broaden your friendships..

Be realistic by not expecting perfection or a repeat of last year. As families grow and change, traditions and rituals may change. Choose a few to maintain and be open to new ones. For example, if adult children can’t come home, find new ways to celebrate together, perhaps through social media. Try to accept family members and friends as they are, even if they disappoint your expectations. Grievances can be discussed at a more appropriate time.

Don’t wait to seek professional help. Despite your best efforts, you may experience sadness or anxiety, physical complaints, sleeplessness, irritability and hopelessness, or be overwhelmed by routine chores. If these feelings persist, see your doctor or mental health professional to discover causes and remedies. Good luck and enjoy your festive season.