Walk for Life’s 900 supporters hear message of empathy

It is a topic that by its very nature creates strong emotions for many.

For the 900 gathered at K.R. Barkman Park in Steinbach May 25, their passion is in support of the pro-life movement. But a personal story from a pro-life woman who had to face the prospect of abortion reminded those gathered that empathy for those who are making the decision is a virtue.

“Having faced this decision myself I quickly realized how imperative empathy is to the conversation, and how important it is to see the humanity in people and acknowledge how hard this choice can be,” said Jennifer Penner as she stood on stage in front of those 900 people who came for Life Culture’s annual Walk for Life.

She then told the heartbreaking story of her son Samuel, who lived a short two days after being born on Dec. 12.

“At my 20-week ultrasound, I went in like any other first-time mom: excited and full of anticipation,” started Penner.

“It never occurred to me that something could be wrong.”

She was referred to a doctor in Winnipeg after the technician spotted abnormalities.

“We did our best to keep calm and hoped that what they saw was something minor or a false alarm. But about a week later, Justin and I went to Winnipeg for our first real assessment,” Penner told the crowd.

“And that’s the day our world fell apart.”

There were several severe abnormalities caused by a genetic condition.

“Each one listed felt like another suckerpunch to the gut.”

The pregnancy that felt like a miracle after seven years of infertility and accepting the fact they were unlikely to have children, Penner and her husband were now faced with the choice no parents should have to.

“That excitement crumbled back into fear, and now devastation. It felt like a dream had been revived only to be utterly crushed,” said Penner.

“I wish the choice for life had come with great conviction and resolve like I had always assumed it should. It’s easy to be self-righteous about it when you never had to face that decision for yourself.

“But humbly and honestly, I admit to you today that decision came with fear and a lot of wrestling. All my hopes and dreams had just been tossed around like a rag doll. My mind was barely keeping up. And all at once I realized what this choice would cost us,” said Penner.

If Samuel had survived, he would need multiple surgeries and have a severe cognitive disability. Penner would not be able to go back to work.

But after more tests, even that outcome became impossible.

“He would either die in the womb, or in childbirth or shortly thereafter. We’d be lucky if we had any time with him.

“When I sat in that chair after being told all the things that were wrong with my son, I came face to face with my own limitations and humanity. For the first time in my life, I understood why some people choose to end a pregnancy,” said Penner.

“The answer to go forward with the pregnancy may have come from my lips that day, but it would take weeks and months for my heart to back up those words,” she later added.

Penner felt guilt for the feelings that betrayed her pro-life convictions.

“But I believe that gave me a window into just some of the challenges women go through in those moments. For the first time I understood, and I had empathy.

“What if I had not had the support of my husband, or the support of this community, or the pre-established belief that it would all be worth it in the end?”

She was concerned choosing to continue the pregnancy may not be the most compassionate choice.

“The prayers I prayed usually consisted of one word, which was help, followed by an endless flood of tears,” described Penner on the challenge to her faith.

In the end she chose to stick to her pro-life principle and is grateful she did. But she is now reminded of the human element in that principle.

“With all that context, my advocating to choose life comes with great empathy and now is completely void of the judgement and self-righteousness I once had. I know first-hand how deeply scary and hard this choice can be, and how much more for those who did not have the supports like I did,” said Penner.

She left the crowd with a final thought:

“Our approach in advocating for life must be holistic. It can’t just be words from our lips with no action and no empathy. A call to choose life cannot be void of the community and individuals ready and prepared to support and walk alongside those who make this decision.

“There’s a cost for us as a community as well. To provide financially, relationally and emotionally in supporting those who face this decision and challenges that follow. No one person can carry this out alone.

“We’ve experienced life culture in this community to be that support for us, and for that I thank you,” said Penner, adding she wanted to see better legislation on the procedure.

Organizer Susan Penner stood near the pile of diapers donated by those leaving the park for the walk down Main Street.

She said the number of people who turned out was proof in her opinion that the empathetic and supportive pro-life approach was working.

“We want to normalize believing life in the womb is valuable, but we are also very intentional about helping and supporting women,” she said.

“I think sometimes there’s a stereotype of pro-lifers not being empathetic or thinking these decisions are black and white, or easy to make, and the truth is it’s not. Each situation is different and there’s actually so many difficult situations and circumstances out there, so it’s essential that we’re understanding of that and approach this topic with genuine empathy for the women,” she added.

Abortion first became legal in Canada in 1969, according to Public Health Canada. They were only allowed if a three-doctor panel determined the pregnancy posed a danger to the mother’s health.

All laws against abortion were struck down as unconstitutional by the Supreme Court of Canada in 1988. It has been treated as a voluntary healthcare service since then.