COLUMN: Ask the Money Lady – Live, love, matter

Have you been struggling in your career or relationships, and are still unhappy?

Many people strive for their dream job, some employment position that they feel they can be successful in, but for whatever reason, they can’t get it. Some have been proactive, prepared, took courses, schmoozed with all the right people and even wore their heart on their sleeve, only to have it ripped off and stepped on. Sound familiar? Sometimes no matter what you say or no matter what you are capable of, someone else holds the key to that acceptance and for whatever reason, they refuse to give you a chance. They come up with all the politically correct answers for your unsuitability, but the fact remains, they’re in and your still out. So now what?

Back to the drawing board you go, to keep fighting. More courses, more training, more fake smiles and more believing you can get it someday. After all, doesn’t every book out there tell you to never give up? No matter how many times you are getting beaten down and pummelled in the boxing ring of life. Even if you’re beaten with blood all over you, barely able to rise from trying so hard, what do all the naysayers keep saying? “Fight back, get back in the game, and keep striving for your goal. Success is just around the corner!” Well, I’m going to tell you the opposite. I suggest you STOP and pivot.

If you believe in the theory of cause and effect, that things happen for a reason, you must agree that everything you have done in your past has led you here, right now where you are. So, what are you going to do with that knowledge? You probably know a different direction to go, one that is more suited to you, yet for whatever reason you continue to deny yourself the opportunity to pursue it. If you know you need to go in a different direction to be happy, then make this change today and pivot your career and your life. Why are you choosing familiar pain over future happiness? Only you have the power to make a change for the better. Sure, we all start out our lives wanting to be successful, wealthy and loved. But we don’t live in a bubble of just ourselves and our thoughts. We have to interact with other people and the world; and when that happens, things don’t always work out the way we wished they would. Your goal in life is to live as long as you can and at the end of your life be able to answer the following four questions with confidence and purpose.

Did I live? Did I love? Did I matter? Did I make a difference?

Focus on making a change in the world around you and in your personal sphere of influence. If you do that, the success (and money) will follow – guaranteed!

Christine Ibbotson is an author, finance writer and syndicated money coach on BNN Bloomberg. She is also part of the everyday lineup on CTV Your Morning in every province. Follow Christine on Instagram @askthemoneylady, or on Facebook (Christine Ibbotson) and join her at her vibrant living speakers events.