COLUMN: Grey Matters – Dark in the Dark, Light in the Dark, Light in the Light

“Since God chose you to be the holy people He loves, you must clothe yourselves with tender-hearted mercy, kindness, humility, gentleness, and patience. Make allowance for each other’s faults.” Colossians 3:12,13a

Long before clocks ruled our days and electric light pushed back the night, human life moved in quiet partnership with the sky. Morning light called us awake, drawing us back to communal life, while evening shadows invited us home again – to fires, stories, prayers, and rest. Darkness was not something to fight but to live within. In the gentle turning of light to dark and dark to light, we learned that wholeness comes not from constant brightness and striving, but from moving wisely and faithfully between light and dark.

Light and darkness move continually through our days and seasons. Neither is constant and permanent, and yet there is this nagging expectation that we should also be living on the top of the mountain in full light. Changing light and darkness ask something different of us, and each reveals a different way of being human before God and others in this world.

Beginning today with an introduction is a four-part series on discerning how to live well in our modern electric-digital community. Anxiousness and stress seem higher than ever, and we somehow need to return to God-given rhythms of life. Our friends need us to know how to walk with them when they are in a dark time, sometimes they need us just to sit with them, sometimes a small light to warm themselves by and sometimes we (the helpers) need to also rekindle our lives to keep helping them. There is a time to be Dark in the Dark, a time to be Light in the Dark, and a time to be Light in the Light. Today I will introduce these three ways of being a helpful human in our world of ups and downs and then go deeper into each one the following three weeks.

Dark in the Dark: Friendship and Empathy in the Valleys

There are moments when the world feels dark, and our own hearts match that dimness. Being Dark in the Dark isn’t about wallowing in negativity – it’s about honesty. It’s the courage to admit when we are hurting, confused, or overwhelmed. These times can strengthen our character and empathy if we let it. Mistakes and regrets can help us live better and love better. We are no longer optimists, but we can now care more deeply for our friends when they have their hard times.

Experiencing our own dark times keep us from silver-lining our friend’s dark clouds. They move us beyond sympathy for them by having empathy with them. In these moments, where any light would be too glaring, empathy becomes a sacred act – a friend choosing to understand the pain rather than trying to quickly fix it. In the dark, God does not ask us to pretend but is ready to stay with us where we are.

Light in the Dark: Kindness in Hard Times

Then there are seasons when the world is dark, but we are called to shine anyway. Light in the Dark is the quiet bravery of kindness when the world feels heavy. It is choosing gentleness in a harsh moment, forgiveness in a bitter situation, and sharing gentle hope when despair seems easier. This kind of light doesn’t blind or boast – it glows. It guides. It warms. God has placed a soul in each one of us, a beacon of light if we let it. To help friends and society through hard times, kindness becomes a form of resistance, a declaration that darkness does not get the final word.

Light in the Light: Self Kindness and God

And then there are seasons of clarity, joy, and abundance – moments when the light in us is irradiated by the Creator of light. Light in the Light is the practice of receiving goodness without guilt, knowing this is also a gift from God. Self-kindness, rest, and gratitude can sustain our light like adding logs to a dying fire. Our light needs constant tending. When we honor the light, we honor the One who gave it.

To live fully in this world includes moving back and forth between all three states. As a chaplain I’m often in the first two, but I also need to spend time in the third before I get too tired. We all need to be honest in the dark, compassionate in the daily struggles, and take time to bask in the light. Through every season, God remains – steady, patient, and present – guiding us toward deeper understanding of ourselves and deeper love for one another.

Gary Dyck is a chaplain and spiritual care provider at a hospital and personal care home in the Southeast.