COLUMN: Beyond the Shelter – Sexual violence: Myths vs. reality

Sexual violence is a topic that many people find difficult to discuss, yet open conversations are essential to building safer, more informed communities. Misunderstandings and harmful myths continue to surround sexual violence, often creating barriers for those who have experienced it and making it harder for survivors to seek support.

Sexual violence is an umbrella term that includes any unwanted or non-consensual sexual contact, comments, acts, or gestures. While many people think only of physical assault, sexual violence can also involve verbal, emotional, and psychological abuse, including coercion, manipulation, harassment, and technology-facilitated abuse.

Talking openly about sexual violence helps increase awareness, challenge misconceptions, and reduce the stigma that often prevents survivors from coming forward. Community education plays an important role in helping people recognize unhealthy behaviours and understand the impact sexual violence can have on individuals and families.

One of the most common myths is that sexual violence must involve physical force or visible injuries to be considered serious. Others believe that if someone eventually “gave in” or did not physically resist, it was not sexual violence. These beliefs are false and can be deeply harmful. Consent must be freely given, and the absence of a struggle does not mean consent was present.

These myths often persist because of what is commonly referred to as rape culture—the normalization of attitudes, beliefs, and behaviours that excuse, minimize, or dismiss sexual violence. These messages can be reinforced through media, social environments, and even well-intentioned conversations. For survivors, hearing these myths can be retraumatizing and may cause them to question their own experiences.

Many people wonder why someone would not report or disclose sexual violence immediately. The reality is that there are many reasons. Survivors may experience shame, guilt, fear, confusion, or concern that they will not be believed. Others may have had negative experiences when seeking help in the past or may not trust the systems available to support them. Some may choose never to disclose, and that decision deserves respect.

The impacts of sexual violence can be far-reaching and affect every aspect of a person’s life. Survivors may experience anxiety, depression, flashbacks, nightmares, difficulties with emotional regulation, loss of self-confidence, or challenges in relationships. Physical impacts can include injuries, chronic pain, sleep difficulties, sexually transmitted infections, or pregnancy. Socially, survivors may withdraw from activities, avoid certain places or situations, experience challenges at work or school, or struggle to maintain relationships.

How we respond when someone discloses sexual violence matters. Supportive responses include statements such as, “I believe you,” “How can I support you right now?” and “You don’t have to decide what to do next today.” In contrast, questions such as “What were you wearing?” or “Why didn’t you fight back?”, place blame on the survivor and can cause further harm.

For anyone reading this who has experienced sexual violence, support is available. Whether the experience happened recently or many years ago, you do not have to navigate it alone. Healing looks different for everyone, and there is no right or wrong timeline. Help, information, and resources are available, and distance does not have to be a barrier to accessing support.

Education and awareness are important steps toward creating communities where survivors are believed, supported, and empowered to heal.

Emily Roy is a sexual assault counsellor advocate.

Agape House provides a safe space and 24/7 support to those experiencing domestic violence in Southeastern Manitoba. The local crisis line can be reached at 204-346-0028.